Over the past year, humanity has endured the most severe infectious disease pandemic in a century, claiming more than one million lives and inflicting devastating blows on society and people’s livelihoods. On November 13, 2020, our company hosted a sharing session themed “Life.” Unlike previous events that invited external experts or scholars in related fields, this session featured four internal colleagues as speakers. One shared profound insights into the warmth and coldness of human relationships—and personal growth—when a loved one’s life was in grave danger; another recounted the many trials and difficult choices faced as a son during his father’s serious illness; a third described the journey from initial regret to reflection and ultimately to a deeper commitment to health and well-being after the passing of an elder; and the fourth articulated her understanding of the meaning of life, drawing wisdom from the Tao Te Ching, the Analects, and practical experience.

The first speaker said: “Therefore, when Heaven is about to bestow a great responsibility on a person, it first tests his will, strains his muscles and bones, starves his body, leaves him destitute, and throws obstacles in his path—thus stirring his heart, tempering his nature, and enhancing his capabilities.” As this colleague shared his story, he found himself instinctively recalling these words from Mencius. Born in the 1990s, he recently faced a sudden, life-threatening illness that landed his brother-in-law in the ICU. Yet not a single relative from his sister’s side came to visit or offer help; his sister, overwhelmed by grief, spent days weeping uncontrollably, while the elderly and children at home still needed care. Straddling the roles of younger brother, son, and father, he had become the family’s sole source of support. During the week, he went to work as usual; every Friday, he would drive three to four hours back to his hometown, spending the entire weekend by his brother-in-law’s bedside in the ICU, always on call. In the meantime, he sought medical advice and treatment everywhere, reached out to friends, classmates, and colleagues for assistance in arranging his brother-in-law’s transfer to another hospital, and repeatedly shared appeals for financial aid on WeChat Moments to raise funds through the Shuidichou platform. After his brother-in-law was admitted to the ICU, most of the relatives on his sister’s side proved remarkably generous, in stark contrast to the indifference shown by his brother-in-law’s own family—clearly illustrating the warmth and coldness of human relationships. Today, his brother-in-law has been in the ICU for more than a month, and the most difficult phase is now behind him; whatever can be done, he continues to do his utmost.

The second speaker shared: “Fish is what I desire; bear’s paw is also what I desire. But when the two cannot be had at once, I choose the bear’s paw over the fish.” When his father was diagnosed with advanced-stage cancer, he decided to forgo futile treatments, promptly arranged for discharge, and returned home to make preparations for the end of life. Even as the eldest son in the family, this decision drew skepticism from his mother and prompted gossip among relatives. Outsiders simply cannot see the frantic urgency a son feels when, at the first sign of his father’s illness, he rushes to find a specialized hospital; nor can they fully grasp the trepidation and sorrow one experiences when the attending physician slowly reveals the results of the tests. What do middle-aged people fear most today? They have elderly parents to care for, young children to raise, and the delicate dynamics of the mother-in-law–daughter-in-law relationship to navigate. With elders, one must honor filial piety; with children, one worries about them falling behind from the very start; and with the two most important women in one’s life, neither can be taken lightly. For this speaker, filial piety means doing one’s utmost—and when it becomes clear that further effort is futile, responding with rationality. As for the mother-in-law–daughter-in-law dynamic, it remains an intractable puzzle; so he has chosen instead to step back and observe, waiting for the right moment to intervene. After years of navigating the social world, one finds oneself caught up in the “jianghu,” where one’s hands are often tied.

The third speaker shared: “When you long to care for your parents, they are no longer there.” This is perhaps the greatest regret in many people’s hearts. Parents spend a lifetime working hard and enduring countless hardships to raise their children until they grow up; yet just when the children finally have the means to repay their kindness, their parents suddenly pass away. Although this colleague has already accumulated extensive life experience and broadened his horizons, the thought that his mother, who labored tirelessly all her life, left this world without ever enjoying the comfort and peace that come from having a son like him fills him with deep sorrow. As he fondly remembers his mother, he also reflects on why she, despite still being relatively young, developed such a serious illness. He recalls that from an early age her living conditions were difficult, and after marrying into her husband’s family as the eldest sister-in-law, she not only had to care for the elderly and children at home but also shoulder additional responsibilities. A lifetime of relentless toil, combined with her quick temper and frequent mood swings, were two major contributing factors. Fortunately, the speaker understands that the deceased can no longer be brought back; beyond occasional remembrance and mourning, the best way to honor his mother is to live a healthy, fulfilling life himself—and in doing so, to prevent the same kind of regret from befalling his own children.

Fourth speaker: There is a little story in the Analects: In ancient times, there was a mother who was physically unable to cook for herself, so her son would deliver meals to her on time every day. Each time he brought the meal, she could never finish it, and he would always ask her what she wanted him to do with the leftovers. She would then tell him to give the extra food to the poor families in the village. This is a small story the speaker mentioned at the meeting. The reason she brought it up was that she had recently noticed her father seemed rather pessimistic. Yet, when she thought about it carefully, she realized that his daily life—food, drink, and other necessities—seemed to be completely adequate. It wasn’t until later that she discovered the real root of the problem: her father felt he could no longer be of any help to his children, that he was useless in this world, and that he was constantly troubling them. Recalling the story she had read in the Analects, she immediately saw the crux of the issue: she had only fulfilled her filial duty on a material level, but had neglected her father’s emotional and spiritual needs. Just as a father worries about burdening his children and always puts their well-being first, the speaker, as a mother herself, has devoted most of her family life to her daughter. Time cannot be turned back; as a mother, she wants to spend more quality time accompanying her daughter’s growth, so that she will have no regrets. Now that she has recognized that her heart has been leaning too heavily toward her child, and given that her father has been frequently ill, it is clear that she must devote more care and attention to her parents going forward.

Every speaker is a courageous person; no matter what, we should face the future of our lives with greater resilience.

Through this experience, the first speaker came to appreciate the preciousness of life. Not only has he proactively sought breakthroughs in his work, but he has also grown more mindful of his health. Having never considered his weight a problem before, he has now made a firm commitment to lose weight—after all, his adorable daughter is counting on him to pave a bright and promising path so they can walk it together.

The second speaker shared that after the birth of her son, pressures on all fronts increased dramatically, and it was already no small feat to remain rational and composed in the face of unexpected emergencies. She also mentioned that, in moments when no one was around, she would occasionally think of her father; at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel regret—and a touch of frustration—that the hospital had not promptly identified the cause of his illness and that the doctors had been unable to save his life. Perhaps the most important priority now is to raise her son well, so that he will never again find himself in a situation beyond his control.

After her mother passed away, the third speaker not only took up Tai Chi to stay fit but also began systematically studying Traditional Chinese Medicine, recognizing that physical health is the foundation of everything.

The fourth speaker uses the time spent with her daughter to read, hoping to gain greater wisdom from books on how to treat her parents, approach her work, and embrace life—and to put that wisdom into practice.